AAAGGGGHHHH!!!

I haven’t written/posted anything in a long time. To my vast readership (har) I apologize. The thing is, some stuff has been going on that I really wanted to write about but didn’t/couldn’t because of one or all of the following:
a) people involved know about this blog
b) it was work related
c) I couldn’t figure out how to write about it.

I still don’t really know how to write about any of it other than to say this: If you are EVER, for any reason looking for a sure-fire way to make me completely insane and trigger my stress-related intestinal issues (ew) here’s how to go about it:
1. Put me in a situation where a decision has to be made.
2. Force me to make that decision
3. Give me 2 options with equal pros and cons to both
4. Add to the mix the fact that my decision will affect other people
5. Force me to wait 3 weeks in between telling me I have a decision to make and the time when I can finally have all the info needed to make the decision.
6. Add in some guilt and self-recrimination about issues that are only marginally connected to the decision but which have somehow made themselves integral to the decision.
7. Stir and allow to steep.

In a nutshell: I was approached 3 weeks ago by a manager at my work asking me to switch to his team. This would be a promotion and was to be accompanied by “a significant raise”. This manager then went away for 3 weeks without providing me with the information needed to make a decision about this promotion (i.e. the salary and job description).

In the meantime, I was approached by another company who want me to come work for them (eee!!). The salary they offered was SIGNIFICANTLY higher than what I currently make, but the work itself is exactly what i’ve been doing for the past 2 years. By the time this offer came to me I had started to really look forward to the change in position that the offer from my company afforded me.

Then the salary offer from my current company came in and, well, it was disappointing. Almost insulting, actually. I know for a fact that their offer is lower than the starting salary of at least one of my coworkers (a guy). In fact, that particular coworker will be taking over the position I am to be promoted out of. I have been with this company for 2 years. This is my second promotion with this company. My coworkers (the non-Jr. High Cool Kids ones) generally come to me for answers and/or help with issues all day, every day. But somehow I am worth less per year than he is?

It sounds like a no-brainer: go with the money. I realize this is the obvious answer. And, if my current company balks when I ask for more money then I will go with the money. The thing is: the new job doesn’t really entice me. The idea of moving away from the Jr. High atmosphere at my current work is appealing. The new job is closer to where I live, also appealing. But the actual work is what I had been hoping to get away from.

AAAGGGGHHHH.

I try to turn my brain off but it doesn’t work. I had finally gotten ahold of the manager at my current work on Wednesday and he assured me I would have answers first thing Thursday (my birthday*. Yay me). Well, I didn’t have the answers first thing Thursday. Then all day long I had to stew about it, ended up getting in an online argument of sorts with a friend about it, then finally got my answers which ended up raising more questions... Let’s just say this birthday was not the best one ever.

I did have lunch with one of my best friends and my other best friend took me for dinner and to a concert, so I really did have some celebrating. But underlying (or overshadowing, one of the two) everything was this looming decision.

I meet with the manager tomorrow. They don’t know about the other job offer because I haven’t had opportunity to talk to them about it. Salary aside, I have concerns that I want them to address before I accept the job, assuming they would meet the other offer. If they don’t then this is all moot.

Did I already say AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH?

Also, to add to the fun times happiness: One of the other managers announced to the staff that I was taking the new position within our company. 2 weeks ago. Before I had even said anything about it. Which started a shitstorm of hate from the Jr. High Cool Kids I work with. Whee.

I know: why am I even stressing about it? Take the new job! But... But... AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I’ll be back posting (irregularly) about nothing when this all gets sorted. Although, if i take the new job I won’t have any funny new stories about the cool kids to tell. But, I guess I would be free to tell the stories that I have about them since I won’t be working there anymore.

See, it’s hard! Both sides are equal!

*36**
**Just 2 weeks ago someone assumed I was 25, so I’m not too too pissed about turning 36...