Wednesday, March 28, 2007


I don't use a phone book anymore. Not the yellow pages, not the white pages. Not the trying-to-compete-with-the-official-phone-book book. If I need information or a phone number I find it online.

I have at least 5 or 6 old phone books taking up valuable real estate in my apartment right now* and someone just dumped another trying-to-compete-with-the-official-phone-book book outside my apartment door when I said I didn't want one.

It's like tangible spam. Well, not Spam, it's like the email type. But in book form.

At work this afternoon, a slightly twitchy delivery guy foisted a dozen trying-to-compete-with-the-official-phone-book books on us, even though we said we didn't need/want them.

Then, he said to me "And, I have something special for you."

I oh-so-subtly backed even further behind my desk as he reached into what appeared to be the back of his pants. With a flourish he presented me with a CD in a cardboard mailer. "The whole book on disk" he bragged as he walked out the door, ignoring the WTF expression on my face.

I looked at the disk. It reads: "search online at". Well, if i can search your directory ON LINE on my COMPUTER why would I need a CD version of it?

I'm going to spend the rest of my afternoon coming up with a craft to do with the CD. I want to stick it in the microwave to make it crackle and split, but that may raise more eyebrows in the office than I'm comfortable with.

*I plan to take the old phone books to the recycling place, but i just keep forgetting**
**yes, for 4 years now i keep forgetting. This should tell you something about me and procrastinating.
***sorry it's been 2 months. I have written several dozen hilarious posts in my head and just never get them OUT here. I'll be back soon.