Anyone got a pen I could borrow?

I’m just not one of the cool kids. Really. I’m not. Just ask the cool kids, they’ll tell you.

I’ve gotten used to this feeling at work. I tend to refer to work as a Junior High. (Not necessarily in conversation with anyone actually AT work, you understand) I don’t know how it all happened, but there is a “clique” of “cool kids” and friend, I am NOT in the clique!

Ask me how sad this makes me.

Mostly it just makes for some funny stories. I am still trying to figure out the best way to be able to share those here. For today, I’ll just tell you about how only The Cool KIds can obtain and use office supplies.

One of my co-workers is in charge of the office supplies. This makes sense. The thing is, that this co-worker is so completely controlling about the office supplies that I may as well just go buy my own stuff. Pens, sticky notes, paper clips, you know, the big ticket items, they are all under lock and key. I have gone to get staples and was handed one (yes! ONE) strip of staples. Why, THANK you, this should solve all of my paper fastening dilemmas!

About a year ago I requested a specific pen. I was told it was too expensive. (it was $2.50CDN). Okay, I thought, I’ll make due. Then, a few weeks later, I notice a steady stream of new office supplies coming in and being distributed to The Cool Kids. Hmm… look at that! The “super expensive” pen I requested is being used by the receptionist. Fancy that!

I requested a 3” binder for some items that need to be kept in a binder at my desk. It took 5 requests and 3 months before I actually GOT the binder. That I needed. For my JOB. I finally had someone else request it and it got delivered within a week.

Hmm…

Most recently, I requested a foot-rest for my desk. (Because I’m ancient apparently.) Office Supply Officer (OSO) ignored my request(s) for a few weeks. Finally I cornered spoke to OSO while other people were present. The next day, I came in and there was a (used) footrest under my desk! Yay! I emailed OSO to say thanks and OSO replied that she didn’t have any need for one so I might as well have the one that she wasn’t using in order to save money for the company. Fine with me. (I have no problem with used office supplies. I don’t need to spend tons of money on something I’m putting my feet on). Earlier this morning I had to go make supplications to get some sticky notes and noticed, positioned carefully under OSO’s desk, a brand new, fancy-schmancy foot rest. Hmm…

I think I might just start requesting crazier and crazier “office” supplies and see what happens. Any suggestions?

chocolate saves the day!

You know what is bad? Having a stupid vending machine in the work place that ONLY takes Loonies*. In a work place that has no means of obtaining Loonies. You know what is good? Going in to the coffee room and seeing, placed on top of the offending Loonies-Only vending machine, a box of real-sized** Oh Henry!*** bars! (and being told "They're Free!") You know what is better? Having this happen on a day that you have forgotten to stock your bag with all manner of snack foods which also happens to be a day that you have run completely out of Loonies.

Mmm... chocolatey peanuty caramelly goodness...

*The Canadian Dollar coin is called a "Loonie" because there is a picture of a Loon on one side. Creative nickname, huh?****
**as opposed to the Halloween "fun" sized bars
***What is the deal with this name anyway? Google?
****In order to preserve the Canadian stereotype I should have written "Creative nickname, eh?" ******
*****Are these little notes at the end getting confusing and/or annoying?

I'm resisting the stupidly strong urge to carry on the multiple asterisk sidenote endnote thing and will just add this here: When I typed the bit about the Loonie, I decided to Google "Loonie" and discovered that we only have the Loon design due to a Canada Post error! Who knew? (probably lots of Canadians.) This just confirms my unhappiness with the Canada Post Delivery policies of not necessarily delivering packages that are addressed to me but rather holding on to them for some inexplicable reason until suddenly they decide to tell me I need to claim my package now! or it will be returned! to the sender! (this has happened at least 6 times. Yay Canada Post and your super helpful "Customer" "Service" "Helpline")

How did I go from a "Yay! Free Chocolate!" post to a "Canada Post Sucks" post in such a short space? hmm. I must be just that talented. You should come back every day. And read. RE-read even. And comment.

(now i've gone from the chocolate bit to the Canada Post bit to straight up "please comment" patheticness.)(is "patheticness" a word? Probably not)(obviously this is a quality, entertaining blog. You should visit more often. Tell your friends.)

NOT what it looks like. Honest

Have you ever been eating a chocolate bar (mmm) and had a piece of the chocolate flake off and fall into your lap and maybe all the way to your chair without you noticing it and then later (much later) you realize that you’ve been sitting on the chocolate and you have a fairly unfortunate looking brown splotch on the ass of your pants?

Yeah. Me neither.

Pre-fab wear and tear

I have this whole post written about my shopping trip on Friday which is, unfortunately, on my computer at home. Since I am slacking* writing this while things are slow at work this morning, I will just jump ahead.

I needed new jeans so I braved the mall on Friday and went hunting. I was surprised to find a pair that I really like. They fit like I want them to, they were not insanely expensive and they are comfortable.

The only thing is they have these faked worn-out spots. Why? Why do that? I can not take care of my clothing perfectly well on my own. I don’t need Giant-Clothing-Seller to do it for me.

I know this isn't a new thing, in fact maybe that's what bothers me about it. Aren't we over this by now? The "whiskered" jeans (ugh) made to look like they are worn in and faded just so. The slightly frayed cuffs.

What's next? Slightly pre-worn out book jackets on new books so your book shelves look impressive? Shoes with the heels worn down slightly and a scuff mark on one toe?

What ever happened to letting the consumer purchase unsullied jeans and take them home, wear them in gradually, over time, until they fit only you?

I realize this post is one step away from some old-person rant about the way things used to be. It's just that I can SEE one of the "worn" spots on these new jeans just now and it's annoying me. If only they weren't comfortable.

*Whatever happened to the term "slacker"? It used to be so cool to call someone a slacker. Now? Nothin'. huh.