Wednesday, September 27, 2006

List Day: Traffic Tips

It’s Wednesday, and it feels like it should be Friday already dammit, and it’s only 10:30am (shh. work blogging. shh.) and feels like it should be 3:30pm, so, the only appropriate use of my time is obviously to make a list.

(I love lists. Don’t know why. I just do. I could make a list of the reasons I like to list things.)

Driving Tips by Lori:

1. When driving on Deerfoot Trail (main “freeway” type road in Calgary) the signs reading “100km/hr” are important. That means you are meant to go that speed. Think about it.

2. When driving on Deerfoot, the signs reading “Slower Traffic Keep Right” are important. That means that you (yes YOU) should pull over out of the left-most lane into the right-most lane because you (yes YOU) are driving 80km/hr (see Tip #1)

3. When driving (especially on a main thoroughfare), it is helpful to pay attention to the other drivers around you. You may find that checking/sending email, talking on your cell phone, reading the newspaper, applying makeup, and turning around to smack your child may interfere with your ability to pay attention.

4. When driving, if you are coming up to an area where a merge lane will deposit drivers onto the road on which you are currently traveling, it is common courtesy to move over if there is no one in the lane next to you. This is, of course, as opposed to purposely blocking the merging driver.

5. If you are the driver attempting to merge onto another road, the drivers behind you might not appreciate if you come to a dead stop. Especially if the lane you are trying to get into has NO ONCOMING TRAFFIC.

6. Most modern vehicles have come with a handy, built-in device to enable you, the driver, to communicate your intentions with the drivers around you as you navigate from lane to lane to lane to lane to lane. You might even refer to it as a Signalling device. Contact your car dealer to get more information about this.

7. If you are attempting to make a left hand turn, and there is a long line of cars behind you all waiting to make a left hand turn, please consider making this turn at a speed greater than 2 km/hr. This way, more than one vehicle will be able to get through on the turn arrow.

8. If you are making a right hand turn, consider the fact that the driver behind you might not want to stop completely while you contemplate the unique nature of the right-hand turn in a traffic environment in which the drivers sit on the left in the car and drive on the right of the road.

9. If you drive a Honda Accord, you have no reason to park diagonally across 2 parking spots. Ditto almost ANY OTHER MAKE/MODEL of vehicle. If your car is too precious to risk having another human being come close to it, keep it at home, in a glass box, surrounded by those velvet rope-chain things, with a high tech security system as intended by the manufacturer.

10. I don’t have a number 10. I just always need to have a well-rounded list. 9 items is not well rounded. Sorry.

1 comment:

KnitOne said...


I laughed and laughed at this blog. I too drive on Calgary roads and although fairly new to the city and prone to merge anxiety (got that one from Oprah), I try really hard to make like a native. I navigate daily out of the parking lot that many call Southland Dr going east to Blackfoot. It often takes longer to get from Braeside Dr to 14 St than the rest of the trip ( and I travel 20 km one way). I read your blog about work and even though you promised not to - more please - they are funny too.

A pleasant break in an otherwise monotonous day. To describe my work would require my own blog and I can barely come up with anything interesting on my knitting blog.