I was NOT going to blog about work. Honest. But, seriously, it's just so funny. It's that kind of funny where you have to laugh about it or else it becomes one of those news stories with the footage shot from a news-chopper of the building surrounded by police vehicles. You know.
I have nicknames for many of my coworkers. These nicknames are strictly inside-my-head (and sometimes in my stories to my friends)(and now on my blog)(which I promised never to do) mostly because I don't know that the co-workers would necessarily find them as humorous or as fitting as I do.
Today is one of those days where I wish I had a video camera set up. My desk looks out on a fairly open space and towards the reception area. On the wall behind the reception desk hang framed certificates for training that our service shop guys have completed. It makes sense to display these, since we are a factory authorized service facility.
Funny thing about the wall o'Awesome Achievement #1: Our receptionist, Muffin Top (if you're not sure where that nickname came from, I can explain it) felt that we needed MORE proof of our awesomeness and has started to frame and display other sorts of certificates. Certificates from "courses" that various employees have attended. I say "courses" because these are the 4-6 hour "How to (insert vague work related task here) Effectively" type courses that are "taught" in a conference room at a hotel and in which at least 25% of the time is given over to promoting whatever self-help books are sold by the company that tie in with the "course". The remainder of the time seems to be taken up with the "instructors" telling you things that you could figure out just by reading the outline on the brochure.
(by now you may have recognized that I, myself, have been sent on a couple of these "courses". Ask me how much new and useful information I learned)
The certificates for these "courses" are handed out, completely filled out at the very beginning of the course. So, basically it's a certificate of attendance. Thank you. I'll put that right next to my BA and display it proudly. Along with all the yellow "Participant" ribbons from Elementary school Track and Field day.
(I have never in my life won anything in any sort of sports/physical activity competition. I had a lot of yellow "Participant" ribbons... )
Funny thing about the wall o'Awesome Achievement #2: Muffin Top had asked our shipper, Dumbass (not his real name) to hang the frames. So, he eyeballed the placement and not a one was either a) level with its neighbor or b) straight. So, when asked about this, Dumbass said that there was no way to get them level and/or straight. Seriously.
Now, this alone is pretty funny, but here's the funnier part: The company I work for stocks and sells laser levels AND measuring equipment.
When one of my (nicknameless at the moment) coworkers mentioned the laser levels to Dumbass, his response was "It didn't help. None of the hooks are in the same place." Now, the thing is: Dumbass did not try using a level to get them, oh, I don't know, level, but of course made it sound as though he had exhausted all possible avenues in his quest for perfect frame placement. This is a fairly typical response from him. No matter what he did or didn't do, there is no way in hell he will take any responsibility for it.
So, now he's hanging more certificates and now, he's hanging pictures. Without making sure anything is level. The pictures are permanently affixed to the wall. Without making sure anything is level.
I wish I had a video camera. Seriously.
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