The post in which I will undoubtably come across as bitter, when really it should be read as cynical and possibly resigned

It is becoming increasingly clear to me that I need to start nurturing an affinity for cats. Many, many cats. For, you see, it is becoming equally clear to me that I am destined for spinsterhood, and, as we all know, the spinsters, they like their cats.

I think I need to look into a proper spinster wardrobe as well. What are the crazy spinsters wearing these days? Sensible shoes? I have those. Cardigans? Well, I have some but I can easily knit some more. Glasses? Check. Anything else? I probably need to find a supplier of sensible slacks with pleats in the front. And slash pockets. I will also need to learn to tuck tissues into my sleeves for ready access and possibly I should find a chain for my glasses, even though I won't technically need it, since the glasses are not just for reading.

What else will I need in order to truly make the transition from single woman in her 30’s to crazy spinster lady? I already knit, so that’s one thing out of the way. I think that cat thing will be the most problematic. (and the pleat-front slacks, but I can probably work my way around that).

What brings on this spinsterhood preparation? The usual: I just found out that a guy I had dated briefly had been, well, less than 100% truthful with me (which, deep down, I knew) and not only that, but he's getting married soon. Whereas I spend most days/evenings at home alone with my knitting and my TV. It really is a shame that I can't stand cats.

My friend (who, bless her heart wanted to go find this guy and hit him)("bless her heart", see, I'm picking up the spinster slang already)(I would have loved to see her go after him. She's about 5'2" and he's probably 6'2")

Where was I? Oh, yeah. My friend and I were joking about the fact that almost any guy who has ever taken me out on a date has soon after either gotten back together with his ex or has met the woman that he ends up marrying. (Actually, several times they met the girl while we were seeing each other. Once, the guy met the girl while we were on a date.) We were saying that I should start a dating service: Take me out to a movie and/or dinner and you will find your soul-mate. It won't be me, but you will find your soul-mate.

So, now I'm at home, alone, knitting and watching hockey and trying to work my head around the fact that I need to start collecting cats soonish if I'm going to qualify as a crazy old spinster lady. Is there some sort of committee that I need to apply to in order to be certified as a crazy old spinster lady?

80's Teen Movies

Pretty in Pink is on TV. This movie instantly takes me back to High School. (also: Some Kind of Wonderful, Sixteen Candles et al)

The thing about these movies was that they gave HOPE to the quirky, wierd, misfits. The heriones of these movies were NOT the rich girls, or the popular girls, or the really well adjusted girls. They were creative, individual, strong, but not like everyone else. They all got the guy. The guy who was Popular, Cool, Handsome, and often Rich. (well, except in Some Kind of Wonderful. In that one the GUY was wierd and creative and he almost got the Rich Popular girl but then the wierd misfit girl got the wierd misfit guy and ... never mind. Take that one off the list. No, wait. Leave it, I love that movie...)

My point (I know, shocking, I have a point) is this: In real life, the quirky, creative, wierd misfit girl does NOT get the cool, handsome popular guy. Or, maybe they do and I'm just a little beat up emotionally today and Pretty in Pink on TV makes me think that it isn't fair because I wanted to make my own clothes and have the cool popular rich guy fall in love with me and I wanted a friend like Ducky who would sing to me and care about me and pine away over me.

Sigh.

One of "Those" Days

There are many different variations on “one of those days”, e.g.:
-the “Monday”
-the “Wednesday but all day long you think it’s Friday so you’re feeling kinda good about things until you realize it’s Wednesday and then it sucks”
-the “starts out pretty good but then things snowball and, even though there is no one thing wrong, it gets pretty overwhelming by 3 pm"
-the "sure it's clear and sunny out, but the news just said there is a giant asteroid heading right towards Earth and, now that they mention it, what is that thing in the sky?"

I’m having one of “those” days.

The day I’m having today seems to fit most snugly into the second last one. No one thing has gone wrong, just a bunch of little things snowballing.

Speaking of snowballing… Yesterday morning started out at -13C, then yesterday afternoon was +9C, then yesterday evening was -13C. Today it’s snowing. And snowing. And, wait, yes, snowing. Stupid weather. I need a pair of these.

Oh, okay, that’s the first item on the list of what’s-going-wrong today.

Second item: I had a dream last night that left me feeling really unsettled, but I don’t really remember the dream at all, just that I woke up feeling uneasy. I know that there was someone in the dream that I was happy to see but that by the end of it I was feeling really not-so-happy. (What? There’s a word for that? Sad? Angry? Malcontented?)

Third item: I got to work and a friend was on MSN so I said hi and commented on something we had been talking about. Said “friend” (who deserves quotation marks now, since it's one of "those" days and they contributed to it) reacted as though I had suggested that they should rip out their kidneys (both) and have them couriered to me, posthaste. Which, frankly, was an extreme over-reaction. I don’t like starting the day with a misunderstanding and then with pissy-ness between friends/acquaintances/co-workers/etc. Later in the day, after enough coffee and/or food, sure, I can handle it. Just not at 8:05am. Please.

Fourth item: The weather sucks. I know that I mentioned it already, but seriously. Why can’t we have our precipitation spread out over the whole season like other, civilized climates? Why must we get it all in a compressed and overwhelming format?

Fifth item: It’s February 28. Part of my job involves monthly invoicing for rentals. I have about 15 invoices that should be dated the 29th, the 30th, and the 31st. Now I have to do math, re-assign invoicing dates, and, did I mention the math? Did I mention how the math and I are not the best-of-friends? We don’t have movie nights or talk about boys or anything. We don’t get along. I mean, not even for a strained conversation as we wait for a cup of coffee if we happen to be in the lunch room at the same time.

Then, add to all the other items the fact that all day long I see planes landing at the airport and I'm stuck here, and it's SNOWING (I know, I told you already, I'm sorry). A friend and I have this on-going joke that we're going to take off and try to catch a flight somewhere warm. Up until now it's always been a "Haha, wouldn't that be funny?" but today I'm trying to figure out how long it will take to get my passport renewed.

However, NHL starts up again tonight, (rumor has it the Flames game is on TV!!), I have a Coco Brooks* pizza thawing in my fridge for supper (now I'm really hungry), and ... well... that's it for the plus side at the moment. But, at least it's not one of those days with the asteroid...

*if you live in or near Calgary and you haven't tried Coco Brooks, what are you doing reading this? Go there NOW. So good!!!

E-Friends

I have this friend. Well, maybe "friend" is an exaggeration of the relationship. Let's say he's this guy I know. Sort of. (I mean, he's definately a guy. The "sort of" applied to the "I know" part of that sentence) For the last few months, we have been having an e-flirty sort of email and msn "thing". It started with emails from him about innocuous subjects and these would go back and forth for a while, with the flirtation building up slowly. For about a month the back-and-forth emailing went on all day long at work (shh... ). Then, after the flirtation had sort of escalated, he started to cut back on the emailing. There are still times when we have back-and-forth days, but not very often anymore.

The funny thing is, when he comes on msn in the evening or weekends, if I say anything to him he answers once or twice and then quickly goes offline.

It's like having a friendship (a real face-to-face friendship) with a guy tank after there has been flirtation. Except that it's all virtual. I don't know if he's worried that I thought there was more to it than what it was (which is often what is going on when guys are that way about a real face-to-face situation), but the complete unwillingness to communicate with me outside of the workday hours kind of makes me laugh.

I enjoyed the email conversations, it gave me something to do at work while wading through ever building mountains of paper, but I never for one minute thought there was more there. Boys. Dumb. Really.

This experience has really magnified something in my life, however. It has been a long time since I have had good guy friends in my life. Or any guy friends. Or guys for that matter. Most of my co-workers are guys, but I don't think that counts, since we have no contact aside from work. The last time I had a good guy friend, the friendship sort of ended when he announced one day that he didn't think we could ever be anything more than just friends. Which came as an enormous surprise to me, since I didn't realize he was considering the issue. Also, ironically it was HIM who scaled back the actual friendship and eventually dropped out of my life. Good thing we WERE "just friends". haha. hmm.

So, what am I trying to say? Not much. Just that I miss having guy friends. I tend to find it easier and more comfortable to be friends with guys: none of the competitive, snarky type of stuff that can happen with women friends. Plus, they don't roll their eyes if I want to watch the game rather than go out shopping.

Close Talker

It could truthfully be said that I have some personal space issues. Specifically, when someone I don’t know/don’t know well/don’t want to be close to is in my personal space. Even more specifically when said person does not get the body language indicators that they are too close (i.e. if I take a big step backwards, maybe don’t match me step for step.)

Case in point: We have a new guy working in our warehouse. He seems like he’s an okay enough guy (compared to some of the warehousemen we’ve had), but he is sort of a close-talker. (He also stares and interrupts conversations that he has no part nor business in but that’s a different rant). Or maybe it’s just with me. I don’t know.

Every time I go into the warehouse to get something for a customer, he tries to engage me in conversation, and he stands WAY too close. Generally when I go back into the warehouse, I’m in a hurry. I have a customer on hold, or standing at my desk. Also I’ve been doing my job for 15 months. I know my job. I know the equipment. If I need assistance I ask. I don’t chit-chat normally, much less when I’m in a hurry.

I could put up and possibly get used to the constant attempts at small talk, if only he wasn’t such a close talker!!

Did I mention the strong, bad aftershave? No? Oh. Yes. Added to close-talking and not reading body language cues, there is an almost visible aura of aftershave around him. Not “oh that guy smells great” aftershave/cologne, but “Oh, that must have been on sale at 7-11” aftershave.

Now, mind you, I much MUCH prefer the attempt at smelling nice for work. The guy we had before this one was also a close talker, but he was a non-showerer, nor was he much of a tooth-brusher. However, I tend to sneeze a lot around strong cologne/perfume, and added to the uncomfortable attempts to chat, and the fact that I’m in a hurry, and the fact that he is just this side of creepy (did I mention that? No? He has a tendency to walk up behind me. When I’m bending down to get something or to write while standing. shudder), it’s kind of, well, unsettling.

So, where was I going with this? Oh, Yeah. I wish there were some way to strongly and in no uncertain terms explain the boundaries of your personal space to people who don't get it. Other than just shoving them or telling them "I can't stand it with you being so close to me!!!!" and running away. You know. Maybe some way that isn't so, well, off-putting...

If you dream it, it will happen.

I dream alot. I go in spurts where I have really vivid dreams that I remember every night for weeks on end. I have dreams about people I know sometimes. People I haven't seen in a really long time. People I don't expect to see. Then, a day, a week, 2 weeks later, I will run into those people much to everyone's surprise. (I also have dreams that combine every single piece of information from the day previous, but that's another story.)

The first time I remember this happening I had a dream about this guy, Chris, who had dumped me rather unceremoniously (another long story for another day) but I hadn't seen him for a few years. As far as I knew we lived 2 or 3 provinces apart, and I wasn't in contact with any of the people I knew when I knew him. I dreamed that he was in with my circle of friends and I got really angry at him and stabbed him. The next weekend, I was with my group of friends in a parking lot waiting for some other friends to show up. One of the girls wasn't going to join us and I asked why. One of the group said "Her friend Chris is in town." Somehow, I knew immediately who they were talking about, even though I didn't have any reason to know. I asked where Chris was from and they said the name of some small town, which happened to be the same small town where the Chris I knew was from. We figured out, finally, that it was the same guy. Everyone was suitably freaked out.

Another notable dream-reality sequence happened when I was living and working in Pakistan. One night this guy I had known in college was in one of my dreams. I don't remember what was happening or anything, just that it was strange that he would be there. The next morning I was walking to the school building (where I worked) with one of the students. I saw a group of visitors and from the back one of them looked like the guy who had been in my dream. I told the student about the dream and how strange it was that this guy looked so much like the guy in the dream. (btw: I had gone to college at a small school in Saskatchewan, Canada. I didn't have any co-workers/aquaintences in Pakistan from my area of the country.) He turned around and came over to me. "Lori?" he asked, as I gaped in astonishment...

The thing about these dreams is that now, when I have a dream about someone I know/haven't seen/would like to see I spend the next few weeks looking around for them. Sometimes those dreams make me happy that it was just a dream and I spend the next few weeks hoping I don't run into the person, but more often the dream makes me sad because it was just a dream and I hope that I do see them.

not another blog...... do we have to read it????

Why another blog? Why? Aren't there enough of them in the world already?

Well, I already have a crafty/knitting blog, which I enjoy doing but I have a tendency to want to ramble on and tell stories and sometimes I think that the people who read the knitting blog really could not care less about the crazy people I seem to encounter or the wacko who cut me off in traffic. So, since I like the writing and I like the telling my long-winded stories, I decided to start another blog.

DEDICATED SOLELY TO THE TELLING OF POTENTIALLY LONG-WINDED ANECDOTE/STORIES AND THE REALLY REALLY LONG RUN-ON SENTENCE.

So, that's what you can expect. Good times. Hope to see you soon!!

(oh, yeah, I will also pledge to use WAY more exclamation marks than is necessary and I will promise to interupt my stories with asides in parentheses, just like this)(don't you feel better now, knowing what to expect?).